Recovery and Baby Duncan...

Merril and I snuck to the hospital to check on Justin and Rachel.  We chatted in the room with them for a while and then headed home.  We were talking about hamburgers with Justin and Rachel and decided to hit In-N-Out Burger on the way home.  What better way to recover from cancer surgery than a burger, right?

The Monday following surgery, Merril headed off to work.  He's only supposed to lift 10 pounds.  *raised eyebrows*  We'll see how that goes.

A friend brought a puzzle for Merril to do during recovery.  We mostly finished it ourselves.

January 31, 2017 baby Duncan was born.  Maxine and I went to see him.  I want to eat him up!

New arrival coming soon...

Do you want to know why we are so excited?  Merril's brother Justin and his wife Rachel are headed to the hospital to have a baby!

Maxine and I are looking at her phone and one of the kids snagged this picture.  I kind of love it.  

Surgery Day!

Surgery day finally arrived, and it could not have come sooner! I feel like I've been waiting forever and I am so relieved that it's here.

We arrived at 8:30 a.m. and checked in. We paid and signed some forms and sat down. We waited in the waiting room for a few minutes and watched TV. We made jokes about him being a bionic man, quoting silly things like, "We can rebuild him, we have the technology." Then they called Merril back to get him dressed and ready. About 10 minutes later, they called me back to see him.

He had on a blue hair cap and a green hospital gown. He was under a blanket and laying in a hospital bed. He was getting an IV started. He kind of looked like a girl. Lol! The doctor came and we talked for a minute and made sure they were going to cut into the correct side. He even used a marker to write "YES" on the side the incision was supposed to be on.

The doctor, Gregory Taylor, said it would take about an hour for his radical orchiectomy (testicle removal) and then about an hour recovery. He asked if we had any questions and then he left to get gowned up. The anesthesiologist talked to us for a little bit about what to expect afterwards and then have him put something in his IV to help him feel calm and said he was ready to take him back to surgery. He told me to give Merril a kiss and I did and said, "If I don't see you again, it's been fun!" Then I went to the waiting room, this was at 9:00 a.m. The room was filled with mainly older couples: a lady knitting, other couples sitting together. The TV was on with Fox News talking about new President Trump's policies. I sent update texts to family and friends. I waited and pulled out a project: scout shirts that needed the numbers picked off so I could stitch correct numbers on. My phone buzzed every so often with words of encouragement and support.

I finished picking numbers off at about 9:45 a.m. I ate a snack from my backpack and stood up to get a free hot chocolate from the waiting room. I sipped my hot chocolate and looked at Facebook. My eyes popped up every time a nurse came in to announce a patient's family name. They didn't call me. Looked at my phone: 10:00 a.m. I had hoped the surgery would take less than an hour but Dr. Taylor said the hernia repair surgery Merril got in 2000 would make the surgery slightly more difficult.

10:18 a.m. The nurse came to get me to tell me the doctor was ready to do my consultation. She leads me to a room with a table and 3 chairs. I wait. Waiting. I feel like this whole process from the time we found out he had testicular cancer until now has just been a lot of waiting. Waiting for surgery, waiting for Merril to recover from a fever, waiting for surgery day again. Still waiting for my consultation. 10:34 a.m. Doctor arrives to talk with me. The surgery went really well, better than he expected. He said there was less scar tissue from his hernia repair than he expected. They got the whole testicle out and as much of the connecting tube that he wanted. He told me Merril's restrictions and then I was able to go see Merril. I helped him change and walked him out to wait for discharge instructions. It was the saddest I have ever seen him.

We were able to get home and get him in bed. He was hurting that first day.

The kids brought him a bear to cheer him up.

By the end of day 2, he was doing a lot better. He even put on jeans, which seemed painful to me.  His incision was a good 4 inches long. He said it was fine. We even snuck out to a late movie because he was so bored of sitting around in the house.

Finally, on to recovery!

Prepping for surgery...

Merril got better from his fever quickly but we have to wait another week for surgery.  :(  Now it's scheduled for Thursday, January 26th.  Dr. Taylor told Merril he could do whatever he wanted until surgery.  Since the recovery is about a month, Merril's been squeezing in adventures.  There was a really muddy search and rescue call.

He found time to head out on a snowmobile ride.  I believe that's Jared Hummel with him.

They stopped to look at my parents cabin, because my Dad is always worried about his cabin up there.  If any of the kids happen by, he always wants pictures.  They get a crazy amount of snow up in Kolob!

Not the flu!!!

My husband has cancer and now the entire family has the flu.  No, no, no, no, no.  I am gargling with listerine, eating healthy, drinking lots of water, rubbing essential oils on my feet, eating probiotics, taking honey, and anything else I can think of to stay healthy.  I need to take care of Merril when he has surgery and I CAN NOT be sick!  

Cancer, I don't like you...

"Are you sitting down?"  Well, wait, let me back up.  A few weeks before Christmas, Merril noticed that one of his testicles was enlarged. He didn't say anything to me about it because it was Christmas time and everything was busy and he thought that maybe he had injured himself on his motorcycle at the sand dunes. During the beginning of January, he asked if I had noticed that one of his testicles was bigger than the other one. I said that I hadn't really noticed that but now that he mentioned it, it did look bigger than the other one. He called one of his search and rescue buddies that's an ER doc at the hospital.  Dr. Crosby recommended taking ibuprofen for the next three days and see if maybe it was swelling and they could get it to go down. So he takes the ibuprofen and nothing changes. The ER doc orders an ultrasound and tells Merril to call him when had the ultrasound done.  Dr. Crosby could then pull up it at his home and look at it. I had gone to a movie with my mom and sisters and so when I got out of the movie there was a text message from Merril that said to call him. While I'm driving home he asked if I was sitting down. I said that I was because I was driving and he said it looks like it's not swelling and it's not a fluid-filled pocket but it's testicular cancer. I'm immediately crying, I can barely breathe. I'm holding on to the steering wheel and decide to pull over into a parking lot because I don't feel like I'm safe to drive. He was coming from the doctor's house because the doctor had told him that he looked up the scan from home and that he needed Merril to go to his house to talk to him about it. He drove to his house while I was in the movie and that's when he  learned he had cancer. Merril was driving home from the doctor's house when he called me and so I sat in the parking lot and he kept telling me it was going to be okay.  Cancer....cancer.......CANCER.  That's all I can hear.  About 10 minutes later he pulled up in the parking lot and he hugged me while it rained on us. We got into one of the cars and talked for a minute and then we drove home. We had a doctor's appointment with a urologist a few days later and he looked at the scan and said that it for sure had cancer and that he recommended surgery to remove one of the testicles.  The urologist, Dr. Taylor, told me not to worry about this.  This type of cancer has a very high recovery rate, almost 95%.  If you're going to get cancer, this is the one to get.  Doctor's office selfies:

We set a date for the following Thursday and he recommended that we get insurance if we could. We got insurance and we were all ready for his surgery.  I couldn't wait to get that part of him out that was causing me all sorts of misery.  Merril spiked a fever Wednesday night in the middle of the night and I was so frustrated that he could not have surgery the following day. The best plan was to postpone for another week until he had recovered from his fever.  

Adam Fluckiger and Darrell Wright came to give Merril a blessing the morning he spiked a fever. I'd been emotional all week, on the verge of tears every 2 minutes.  When they gave the blessing, I felt very calm.  I felt strength, something I had been lacking.  I could feel that everything was going to be okay.  If that meant he died, then we would be okay.  If he lived, we would be okay. The blessing was for me as much as him.  After that, I was better about the whole ordeal.  I didn't worry as much.  

Some thoughts:  My poor kids.  Their Dad has cancer.  How do I raise 5 kids on my own?  Mark wouldn't even remember him; he's so small.  So thankful we have a lot of life insurance on him.  We'd be okay.  We will be okay.  He's going to make it. *deep breath*

Tubing on Cedar Mountain...

We found some tubes for sale at Walmart and that inspired a tubing trip! 

It was a great day!

Mark is getting so big!  He was a little scared at first but did fine after a ride or two with a parent.

The inevitable tube train!

Bike ride...

Jack has a friend from our ward named Collin Phipps.  They're are in the same grade and both like cars and mountain biking.  

Collin's Dad, Logan, like to mountain bike as well so Merril, Logan, Collin, and Jack go riding often.

Bubbies first dentist trip...

It was time for dentist checkups.  Ugh.  But everyone passed with flying colors, no cavities!  It was Mark's first trip to the dentist and he did great!  He sat up tall and held still.  I'm so glad we didn't need to do any fillings!